Have you ever thought about the instructions from the flight attendant before takeoff? You know, the one where they say, “if the cabin loses pressure secure your oxygen mask before helping others.” Do you know why you need to take care of yourself first? Because if you don’t tend to your oxygen needs you will not have any life left to care for your loved ones next to you.

This is a dramatic example, but the same concept holds true. As busy mommas it is so easy to let the little people who mean everything to us consume every last ounce of energy leaving nothing for ourselves or our spouse. If this is repeated day in and day out we find ourselves far from the best version of who we can be.

It is so important when we have small children to remember that it is not selfish to take care of ourselves. It is essential. It is the foundation that everything else builds on. You know the saying, ‘if mom isn’t happy then no one is happy,’ well, I think a better saying is, ‘if mom isn’t healthy then the home is not healthy.’

This can refer to physical and mental health. When I am 8 months pregnant trying to do all.the.things I often think to myself ‘thank goodness I am not this size permanantly’ because it is so challenging to do simple tasks like clean up the floor, chase a toddler, go up and down stairs, etc. When I am at my pre-pregnancy size I have more energy and I can have more fun with my family without trying to just survive until bedtime. I understand that losing weight is harder for some people- dang genetics- and I am not trying to offend anyone- I just know that I am my best version of myself when I am in better shape. And we all know how to get there- old fashioned diet and exercise. I will write a post soon about how to exercise when you have children.

Moms have so darn much to remember. What did we sign up for for the school party? What is going on this evening? Did I pack the sport equipment in the car? Did the kids brush their teeth this morning? Did I pack enough food for lunch? Did we get all the homework done? Did the kids bring jackets? What about dinner? And on. And on. And on. Sometimes we just need to come up for air. No pun intended on my initial example. What are the things that when you do them you feel like you again? Not the you that you have gotten use to- the worn down, unhealthy version- but the you that you use to know. The one that smiled a lot and daydreamed about big goals and found humor throughout your day- that you. It could be talking to an old friend or a family member. It could be getting your nails done, going to a salon, getting a facial, finding a new outfit, reading a book, driving in the country, listening to music, going on a date with your spouse, etc.

Whatever those things are that make you feel alive- do them. Make them a priority- almost as if they are oxygen to your mood. Caring for yourself is not selfish- it is so incredibly important. If the people you love the most get the worst version of you because you are so worn out trying to meet everyone’s needs except your own then what an unintended tragedy is that!?

I have found that the phrase ‘I don’t have time’ should be heard as ‘that is not a priority to me’ because when something is elevated in importance you carve out time for that. If you don’t have time to do the things that make you feel like you then that just means that your health and consequentially the health of your home is not a priority to you. Ouch.

Maybe making time for yourself means waking up a little earlier to read a book or to get yourself ready and presentable before you start tending to the needs of everyone else. Maybe it means bringing the kids with you to get your hair done or nails done (<— not ideal, but I have been there!). Maybe it means turning on your favorite music instead of the kids music while you cook dinner. Maybe it means getting out the door earlier so you can drive slower and take a scenic route instead. It does not have to be a big thing, although a trip to Paris may bring out the best version of myself- kidding… But really, think of little things that make you feel relaxed and happy. Brainstorm ways to fit these things into your life. I promise you do have time and you will not regret it and your family will thank you.

Because if you do not take care of yourself, momma, your sweet babies do not get the best version of the person they love the most.

Give yourself permission to take care of yourself first. You are not being selfish. You are doing these things for your health and the health of your family.

You’ve got this, momma.