When I was a kid we saw our grandparents once or twice a year. We lived in different states and we loved our grandparents, but I did not really know them.

After we had two babies and one on the way we were facing a move for my husband’s residency program. We knew that we would live there 7 years and knew that the last few years raising small children without family nearby were tough. I was working full time and also taught college classes. It was a lot with two little kids age 3 and 1. So we asked them to make the move with us….and.they.said.YES!!!

During residency, my parents lived across the street from us and my husband’s parents built a house on our property. We had our third baby, and then fourth, and then fifth and sixth during those years. I continued to work full time and never took for granted the blessing that it was to leave my babies with their loving grandparents each day.

Fast forward to today- We moved to a property with 160 acres and made sure we had homes on the property for both sets of grandparents. Not a day goes by when the kids do not see their grandparents- sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for a few hours, and sometimes for a whole weekend. They think this is a normal part of childhood to be able to walk to their grandparents house for some homemade bread and then walk to the next house for a popsicle. I love that this is their normal.

You don’t have to look far to find benefits of raising children near grandparents- both for the children and for the grandparents. I am not going to cite a bunch of research and numbers to support this, but I will just talk from personal experience!

Here are three reasons our family’s united decision to live near one another has been the best thing we ever did for our children:

1. One on one time

When you have eight children it is hard to find one on one time with each child every day. But, when there are grandparents nearby the kids get plenty of one on one time between all of us. They each have special bonds with their grandparents and love any time they have to visit.

Many evenings a grandparent will bring the kids back to our house right before bedtime and the kids will kiss them and say, “see you in the morning! I will be over right when I wake up!” I am sure that sometimes the grandparents would rather have more time to themselves, but if they do feel that way the kids don’t know it because their doors and their arms are always open. 🖤

2. Many hands make light work

As the kids have gotten older their activities have also increased. Multiply this by eight and subtract a husband who gets home late and it is a logistical challenge to say the least! Thank goodness for grandparents who step in every single day to say, “how can I help” or “I am going to the store, do you need anything?” or “would you like me to take the boys to baseball practice tonight?” 🙌

I could go on and on for all the ways the grandparents have helped us with our busy schedule, but you get the point. The best part is that rather than having one mom do all of it and end up frazzled each night from all the running and remembering everything, there are grandparents who each do one thing and do it with a willing heart and then no one ends up frazzled. They enjoy spending time with the kids and helping out and I am ever so thankful.

3. Generational perspectives

Our kids have been around their grandparents their whole lives. They have in part been raised by them through their daily interactions. I have been told several times that my kids are unique in the way they interact with adults and the way they don’t have an interest in playing video games or watching tv. I think this is largely in part due to the generational influence of their grandparents.

My 8 year old knows more about gardening and cooking than I do and he has been tilling a garden and mowing grass for a few years already! I certainly did not teach him that. Recently we recorded the kids interviewing the grandparents and it was precious. I want them to look back and always remember this special bond.

This goes both ways too- the kids have a way of making the grandparents do things that they probably wouldn’t normally. Such as have a dance party in the living room, take a walk, read a kids book and do funny voices, make cookies, sing silly songs, etc. It warms my heart when I see the grandparents smile and laugh and truly enjoy the kids.

I realize that our situation does not work for everyone. Family can get complicated and for some people living so close would be more stressful than beneficial. Sometimes work obligations make living near one another not an option. Some families do not have grandparents who are not here anymore. But, if you have ever considered raising your children by their grandparents – if there is any possibly way to figure out the logistics- DO IT. You will be so glad you did. The grandparents will be glad. And the children will be especially glad.

If you do not have grandparents that could live near you for the reasons I just mentioned or a list of others, then here is my challenge to you. There are many many older people who would love to get to know your family and spend time with your children. I would encourage young families to connect with an older couple and let them have a part in your children’s lives. It may not be an everyday interaction, but having an older person who loves your children pour into them is never a bad thing! Invite them to dinner, tell them when your kids have sporting events, include them at birthdays, etc.

You will never regret having a grandparent or a grandparent figure in your children’s lives. It truly is the best decision we ever made for our family.

Until next time,